I figured out many years ago that what my mouth doesn’t convey, my facial expressions will. It’s extremely hard for me to conceal my true feelings because the look on my face just gives it away. It wasn’t until I started working for MAC Cosmetics, where I was face to face with clients, that I had to make a conscious effort to be mindful of my facial expressions.
Fast forward a few years after I left MAC–I had been working for awhile at a large insurance company in the city I had relocated to. Some of my coworkers had become really good friends of mine and we would occasionally go out for dinner and drinks. It was during one of these nights out that someone had invited a more recent hire to join us. I had mentored her class so I knew of her, however, our exchanges never went beyond the occasional “hello” or questions she may have had regarding company policy.
After a few drinks, we all loosened up and the newbie felt comfortable enough to let me know that everyone (well, all the newer hires at least) were intimidated by me. Now, this wasn’t the first time I’d had someone tell me this, but I honestly never gave it a second thought until the newbie mentioned it.
Everyone laughed but I was very curious as to what it was about me that was intimidating. “I don’t know, it’s just something about the way you carry yourself. And your face, you just have this look.”
Huh? A “look”?
And then one of my friends said, “Yeah, Sara, you have resting bitch face.” Que the laughter from everyone.
So yes, I suffer from RBF. After discussing it, it’s not a menacing look I have, just a very intimidating one. Which, in retrospect, explained a lot, lol. I don’t even know I have this “look” but I do feel, in some way, it’s benefited me. People tend to be more straight forward and open with me, and it’s not often I get taken advantage of.
While I still try to keep my real feelings from showing all over my face, I’ve learned to embrace my resting bitch face and don’t plan on doing anything to change it. I mean, when you think about it, some of the most iconic women in history had RBFs–Margaret Thatcher, Scarlett O’Hara, Ava Gardner, JLo–and if you ask me, that’s pretty good company to be part of.
So if you have RBF, embrace it! Ignore the haters because they’re just intimidated by your fierceness. 😉