I was scrolling through Insta stories today, and came across Booty King‘s post–he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s so true. I can be honest, I catch myself comparing myself to others more often than I care to admit. I don’t like doing it because I know I’m me and I should be fine with that.
I know I’m not the only one who does this because I’ve had countless friends tell me it happens to them, too. Social media, unfortunately, has only served to perpetuate the comparison game. We see everybody’s highlight reel, but none of the raw, behind-the-scenes moments. Why? Because no one posts that sh*t. I mean, who wants to be that vulnerable, so publicly?
We live in a society of instant gratification; where material things are held in high regard and if you have material wealth, then you’re good all the way around. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Take a look at the uptick in the suicide rate amongst wealthier people–it’s pretty alarming. While money and all the nice things can be exciting, none of it will fill the void or fix the self-destructive tendencies one may have.
I’ve had to work hard on breaking this type of thinking–constantly comparing myself to others. Hell, just this morning in the gym I was doing it. I had to remind myself that I’m fully capable of reaching my goals, but I’m not going to get there overnight. It’s going to require dedication, discipline and hard work on my part.
The good news is, if you’re vigilant with your thoughts, you can shut down the comparison thinking and start to embrace the wonderfulness of YOU. Everybody’s journey is different, so lean into the fact that even if you’re not where you want to be right now, you’re where you’re supposed to be for this season of your life and you have complete control of the steering wheel. Only you can change the direction you’re going in.
Take time to really connect with yourself. I’ve started to make it a daily habit to thank my body for all that it allows me to do. It may seem weird at first, but trust me, you will FEEL it. Our bodies are so damn amazing and we take them for granted.
Pamper yourself, at least once a week. And do something good for yourself at least once a day. For me, it’s going to the gym. I may not always feel like going, but I remind myself that it’s an investment in my body and that gives me the push I need. Acts of self-care are so important.
Being mindful of how you talk to yourself is also another form of self-care. I always ask myself, “Would I talk to my kids this way? Would I say that to a child?” Constantly thinking to yourself that you’re a failure or you’re never going to get it right, or you’re too fat, or you’re too this will only bring you down. If you f*cked up, acknowledge it and set in action a plan to fix it. If you don’t like something about yourself, well guess what?! YOU can change it. Self-parenting is a learned behavior and has to be worked at. But once you’ve honed in on how to check yourself, or check in on yourself, you’ll feel the confidence and self-love flowing!
Remember, there’s only one you. And God doesn’t make mistakes–he created you with a purpose. But the only way to fulfill our purpose in life is to make sure we’re taking care of and loving ourselves, unconditionally.